What is the best advice someone ever gave you?
Growing up, I became the person in our family everyone expected to handle things.
If something broke, Karen would fix it. If the dishes needed washing, eventually Karen would do them. Laundry piling up? Wait long enough and Karen would take care of it. The yard needed mowing? Somehow that became mine too.
For a long time, I believed the more I did for other people, the more they would love and appreciate me.
That didn’t always happen.
Then one day, someone I respected gave me a piece of advice that was surprisingly difficult to understand:
Love yourself first.
That challenged everything I had been taught. We hear things like “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and “turn the other cheek.” I had interpreted those lessons to mean that being a good person meant constantly putting everyone else ahead of myself.
Over time, I learned something different.
Loving yourself first doesn’t mean you stop helping others. It doesn’t mean becoming selfish or uncaring.
It means taking care of yourself too.
Today, I still help people when I can, but I no longer believe I have to meet every expectation placed on me. I take care of myself first, then give what I can because I choose to, not because someone assumes I will.
That may be the best advice anyone ever gave me.
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